Yesterday I came across a short article that revealed newlyweds Kim Kardashian and Kanye West had just flown in to the UK. At first I wondered why those two muppets were in the country and then it suddenly all made sense.
Last night GQ Magazine hosted another lavish and laughable ‘pat on the back’ ceremony, this time honoring the “GQ man”.
Check out the winners list below.
Hugo Boss Most Stylish Man
Douglas Booth – Never heard of him
Lewis Hamilton – I pay absolutely no attention to motor racing, but if GQ wants to give Lewis an award then who am I to argue. I know his auntie Nicole Scherzinger is proud.
Actor of the Year
Benedict Cumberbatch – Posh boy Benedict’s backside must be sore from the amount of kissing that goes on.
Entrepreneur of the Year
Andre Balazs – Never heard of him.
Paolo Nutini – Okay… so I will need for someone at GQ to explain this one.
Jamie Dornan – Never heard of him.
Van Morrison – Fair enough. Van has been making music and selling millions of records for decades.
Solo Artist of the Year
Pharrell Williams – Congratulations Mr “New Black” Williams.
Leading Man of the Year
Colin Firth – A predictable choice.
Humanitarian of the Year
Ringo Starr – This year organisers just wanted a surviving Beatle in attendance.
Woman of the Year
Kim Kardashian West – Take millions of selfies of yourself on a daily basis, give birth to a cute baby, walk around with a vacant expression on your face at all times, pose naked for an up coming British GQ spread, and you too can win ‘Woman of the Year’.
Iggy Pop – Iggy was born around the same time Noah started drawing up the plans to build the ark. He deserves the ‘Icon’ award.
Comedian of the Year
John Bishop – My mum is a fan.
Liam Neeson – Oh please!
Chef of the Year
Tom Kerridge – Never heard of him.
Designer of the Year
Christopher Bailey – Never heard of him.
International Man of the Year
Jonah Hill – Why?
Writer of the Year
Michael Lewis – I am not familiar with his work.
Philanthropist of the Year
Tony Blair – It’s good to see war criminals winning awards. Next up George W Bush.
Breakthrough Fashion Designers of the Year
Agi and Sam – Never heard of them.
TV Personality of the Year
Peter Capaldi – Brilliant actor but I CANNOT STAND Dr Who. Even as a child I hated the Doctor.
Ewan Venters – Never heard of him.
New Order – New Order has inspired a lot of artists/bands over the years. They deserve this award.
And there you have it! The good, the bad and the pointless.