UK NEWS: TEENAGER WINS RIGHT TO WEARS LOW-SLUNG TROUSERS

Ellis Drummond

Via The Mail

A teenager has struck an unwelcome victory for young thugs after an order to stop him wearing low-slung trousers and a hooded top was scrapped because it breached his ‘human rights’.

Ellis Drummond, 18, a violent offender and drug user, faced a ban on the clothing because he was considered to be wearing it in an ‘intimidatory manner’. Continue Reading….

Ellis you look RIDICULOUS! Pull up your trousers you damn idiot!

I blame the US prison system for taking away prisoners belts to prevent them from hanging themselves, so they were then forced to walk around with their trousers sagging.  And I also blame US rappers for stealing that “trend” and taking it overseas.

Ellis just looks special.

I hope the Americans are pleased with themselves.

LOL!

47 replies »

  1. This foolishness right here. It is just plain disgusting and ridiculous. I mean what is so attractive about a boy or girl wearing sagging trousers. yeah i saw a girl putting on boys underwear and sagging trousers. It is shabby and stupid looking really. Can it get anyworse than this?

    Whoever represented him in court needs a good beating him/herself. Foolishness.

  2. As an American…i don’t like the trend either. But…he has every right to wear his clothes the way he sees fit. If he want to look stupid…it is his choice. Once you start telling poeple….Well Black people what they can and cannot wear…there is a problem. I’ve noticed that when Black men wear their clothes a certain way…it’s “Oh my god…look at that thug”. But when others wear it a certain way…it’s ok. I just don’t like when people think they have the right to tell people how to look. Yeah i may not like the style…but they have the right to wear what ever they want. And don’t blame America…. It’s a mentality…… And he seems to have it… Yeah a prison mentality…so if he wants to roll like that…then shame on him

  3. The girl i actually saw putting on this dress code was white. And she still looked as ridiculous a s this fool who thinks he looks COOL. What is COOL about this?

  4. OT: Since I don’t tweet & can’t be assed to e-mail. For the Nigerians, who read this, Umaru Yar’adua don kpai.

  5. I blame the spineless young man and woman who don’t have a mind of their own to dress properly. Embrace the proper dress code children, leave the gansta look where it belong with gang bangers.

  6. I absolutely hate this look. I took a photograph of a girl tryin to be a boy because words could not explain it. Yes you can dress how you want and people will treat you different based off your clothes.

    First of all they walk funny because they tryin’ to keep their pants from sliding to their ankles. Then some of them belt them at the bottom of their arse O_O. For the record your waist defines your height so if your waist is at mid thigh you look like an oompaloompa! So the look is short, and stupid!! o_O

    If business deny customers who dress inappropriately into their shops maybe they will think twice. A lot of places do not allow entry if you are not wearing a shirt, shoes, or bathing suit so what does that say? Put some damn clothes on!!

    And for all you hoochies cover up that rack save that for the club ….daytime is for minimum cleavage and please pull up your damn pants because I don’t want to see your panty or lack there of …. of the day!

    *drops mic and kicks soap box to the side*

  7. I understand that people have likes and dislikes.. But it amazes me how adamant people are about others business. I say this…concern yourself with you and not worry so much about what others are wearing. They have to right to wear what they want….as long as they have clothes on. I think when something repulses you so much….then there is a deep rooted problem. To me it’s not that deep! I don’t like the style for me…so I don’t wear it. But I cannot and will not try in the least bit to stop someone else for expressing themselves. It might be ghetto…or thuggish …or even gangster ….but they have the right…that is all I’m saying. Oh I don’t like skinny jeans on anyone…but I have no right to bitch and complain about what they are wearing. I don’t wear them…and I only concern myself….with what I put on my body. And in closing…if you don’t want to see it…don’t look at it… It’s simple!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. There’s a deep rooted problem no doubt. I guess we should turn a blind eye to it and all eg knife and gang crime, drugs etc which have a knock on effect on society. Does this fool look alright? I mean 4 all he cd fight 4 he chooses 2 fight 4 this right. No wonder he’s on damn drugs. He has a problem.

  9. those are to different things.. Wearing clothes…is one thing…killing people is somethng all together different. I say this to all the people who wants to control what others wear.. And mind you i don’t like it either.. Make sure you look appropriate everytime you walk out your door. Because this can become a slippery slope….someone could say what you wear they hate….then demand that you change…then what.. It will continue.. The reason for civil right.is because of issues like this… What is the big deal… You’re never going to be able to change people.. Just like you wil never be able to change my beautiful Black Skin

  10. Anyway, I wonder if he puts this on to college or uni or to work??? Maybe he puts it on during his leisure time only, when he’s idol. He seems to be acting out the thuggish life and acting invincible, hm. He’s only 18, i guess he’s finding his identity as a thug.

  11. but tell me this…what is the problem? I know guys who wear saggin pants…who are educated and doing well.. Do i like that..they wear them that way…no…but it’s not my business.. I have bigger things to concern myself with. But i do get…it… But all i’m saying is…is that..it’s not my place or your place to tell people how to wear their clothes

  12. Well here in the USA if i wanted to wear them to work i could not. But on my own time….sure i can. And no one should feel the nerves to come to me and say anything. Now do i feel like telling my young brothas..to pull them up… Yeah i do…and i do as well. But i do it in a way that i’m not offending. But when all is said and done…it’s not my place… And because you wear saggin pants…don’t mean that you’re trying to be a thug….not true at all. why is it…when people don’t like or understand something…it’s always bad. I don’t get it either…but i’m not into that style. But i don’t spend my time worring about it either. But i do like this dialog

  13. Isn’t this boy a thug? A violent offender, wasting tax payers money on foolishness. Has he even got a job? I hope he was being violent 2 self and not innocent folks.

  14. I think he was an offender… And i wish that he would turn his life around. Because it is never too late for anyone. No matter what you’ve done in the past….there is still hope. And i’ll say this…life has a way of changing in an instant. So lets hope none of our lives…..take that turn…because it can happen. All it takes is one slip up….

  15. There’s always hope, but not when you are trapped in the same cycle. There comes a time when u just have to snap out of this foolishness and turn your life around. But you know what? Rebellion is a beautiful thing when you are young. Its cool and very appealing and lands one in hot soup.

  16. Yes there comes a time when you wake up. It sometimes takes a bad thing to happen…in order for you to realize. And sometimes you just get sick in tired of being sick and tired. But my hope for him and anyone else… is..that he makes it out a live. I know first hand…that you can over come anything. So that is why i’m so passionate about…my young brothas and sista. I wouldn’t be a love today…if someone hadn’t took me by the head….and knocked some sense in me.lol! I’m so grateful….you have no idea. My life has changed for the better. He may need to land in hot soup…to wake him up….i don’t know…

  17. Sometimes the only time society picks any interest in kids is when they are doing something negative. We look the other way at all the positives in some youths who are equally struggling and having similar problems but dealing with them different. But who really wants to know unless someone gets stabbed or robbed or whatever that shocks sense and brings a problem at the fore front.

    In most cases if kids don’t have strong family or people around them to support them and they only have people who applaud their behaviour even when it is ridiculous, what are they to think or do? (i am not saying that it cannot happen if the opposite was true). Anyway, like i said, rebellion is a beautiful thing when one is young.

  18. Hey now i agree with you 100%.lol! I must say the sad part in any of this is the fact that the teen is lost. It is so obvious that he is lost because of what he manifests. Someone told him it is ok to walk around like a buffoon. But i just believe in hope for everyone… And as you said..for the most part…if people don’t have a strong presence of family or friends around…so much can happen. And right you are….no one wants to deal with things that life throws at us…unless someone gets hurt. I really enjoyed you perspective..on this topic….MUST TO THIS MORE.LOL!

  19. LOL @ walking around like a buffoon.

    ‘My sister said they wouldn’t be able to put in those conditions,’ he said.

    ‘It’s like they’re trying to change the way I dress.’

    The sister could have come up with something better. Like ‘you look really ridiculous’. He is so convinced that he is dressed appriopiately and he identifies with it, like he would die if he dressed better. Hopefully, he will finish college. lol

  20. You know it reminds me of my nephew….he’s convinced as well…that he looks great! Not! But i think what ….will need to happen is ..if he looses out on something he wants really badly because of how he is dressed. And guess what…he’s in college.lol! Basiclly it’s a mind set.lol! Not much going on upstairs.lol! Keep in touch…you seem really cool….

    My email is negroamor33@yahoo.com

    I’m not trying to hit on you…ok! Just incase you were thinking that.lol!

  21. Yeah we blush.lol! We just don’t turn red.lol! Make sure you keep in touch with me…ok… It would be cool…

  22. 24 comments intellectualising gang banger clothing…this is the problem

  23. You have a right to think what ever you want “Reclaimin”, but if you don’t talk about the problems….you may never come up with a solution. Just like we talk about issues plaguing out community. This is not different! And guess what…..you added a comment as well…so you’re no better!

  24. Thanks for the insight Moreno, I never realised that I commented

    I simply looked at funnily enough your rationalising of clothes dont’ kill people rhetoric and couldnt’ bring myself to expand…but here goes.
    Image and clothing connotate ideals and aspirations in the Western World -FACT (outside of fashion and media).It is simply childish to not see that this particular style of dress references an ideal that is not positive AT ALL. No one who wears their trousers to the same degree as the pic above wears them for comfort or function. This statement does not need to be researched or peopled polled to arrive to that conclusion. So to try to impart wisdom on trousers that sag beyond the whole buttocks to me is laughable and is in my opinion the problem with particuar people who love to flirt withthis tomfoolery..always quick to defend thugisms with the same passion that say,Martin Luther King had for simply wanting acceptance in the mainstream world wearing a fine ass suit. Looking for comparisions in skinny jeans is invalid. Apart from some people not appreciating the style and form of them, they do not cnnotate a lifestyle that is negative and threatening to others byt themselves (although so see Skinheads in the 70s for a different slant)
    These same ppl who wear these are the very same people who ironically wear a suit when they appear in court, pleading Not Guilty. So you explain why this should not make a blind bit of difference when clothes don’t maketh the man? I was raised in a generation who knew about Sunday Best, play clothes and black tie events so I don’t get all precious about why my office workplace would probably prefer me not to wear batty riders or why if I went to someones funerals wearing bright yellow it might not be ideal. This attitude that we must have individualism in every facet of you lives does not bring people together nor does it enhance the individual. It isolates and creates hostility when taking so far..see it for what it is-jeez

  25. Hello Reclaimin…I must say I enjoy reading your comment. But you did post a comment no matter how big or small it was. First off I’m not saying that the sagging pants are something I like. But my whole argument had been about having the right to wear what you want to wear. It comes down to this…I can wear whatever I want to wear when I want to wear it. And you can do that as well… But when someone tries to stop me from wearing something on the basis that you don’t like it…then I have a problem with it. Do I like the sagging pants thing…hell no! Do I wear sagging pants hell no! But do others have the right to wear it….hell yes. To me it’s a matter of civil rights… and it’s a very slipper sloop ..when you try to tell anyone…they cannot wear what they want to. Ok the media has made it clear that people who wear saggin pants are nothing but criminals. Yes you see thugs wearing sagging pants…but I also see people who are very successful wearing them as well… Now with that being said…I see people wearing nice suites…and guess what they commit crimes as well. You keeping saying saggin pants represent thugary..but to whom!!!!!! To you …the media…to whom? It is a matter of choice… and while on skinny jeans…oh that’s such a wonderful fashion statement…. But to whom! Just because the mainstream media tells you it’s ok to wear skinny jeans…don’t make it my reality. See what I’m getting at is the fact of how we view things. The media tells you what is acceptable…and you believe it. They tell you what is the standard of beauty and you know it’s not someone who is Black…(but to me it is) And guess what….you believe it. The media tells you what is an acceptable way to act…and you buy it. They tell you what is the new hot thing…and you run to buy it. They tell you…you should act like others…and you do it. You do it to the point that most people lose who they really are. You do it…because you want to impress others because you view them to be a step above you. You do it because you want to be accepted… I don’t like saggin pants..nor do I like skinny jeans. But you have the right to wear what the hell you want.. And you shouldn’t be told what you can and cannot wear. Now there is a time and place for everything…That is my whole argument… about having a right! Not that I even condone it….just having the right. I don’t know if you’re Black and this is not a racial issue. But if you are Black and I am.lol! I was thinking…what if whites in the UK told every Black person there..that they had to go back to Africa where Blacks originated from… would you go back…. No! You wouldn’t. Now I know that is a big stretch.lol! But I’m trying to get a point across… When you said you were raised in a generation where you whore Sundays best…play clothes…etc… And that’s all fine and well…but where did your parent s get that from? They had to get it from somewhere…right? My point is…thinking outside the box for a moment… Everything that you know to be true…FOR YOU…comes from someone else’s opinion about it. Saggin pants is a waste of material.lol! It looks dumb and I don’t get why anyone would want their azzz out like that. But hey I may not like it..but they have a right. Now I do agree with much of what you said….but it comes down to just having a right… I am in no way justifying saggin pants….I’m talking about people having the right…. Oh you said that skinny jeans don’t conotate a lifestyle that is negative…well you did mention the Skinheads… Now that is what I think of when I see skinny jeans. (actually I don’t but since you brought it up…I just went for it.lol) Should people not wear them…absolutely not…they have the right. Let me say this in closing .. When I see a Black guy wearing saggin jeans I don’t automatically thing “oh my god..that thug”. I don’t see my people that way… I might look at him and say…brotha you look dumb.lol! But I’m not going to judge a man because of what he has on…I’m going to judge him based on what comes out of his mouth. Just because someone appears to look ignorant don’t mean that he is… Now I’m look forward to your reply….ok…..so get to it.lol! I like having this kind of dialog because everyone has an opinion. And I know some of this ..is a bit off…but I’m at work and I just had to reply…typing like a mad man.lol!

  26. Sometimes you have to wonder what frame of mind a child or teen is in when they decide to dress like this and walk around like this. We all went through rebellious stages as young people and am sure one way or another we learnt otherwise. Like if someone said you have to move from point A-B-C-D and then you decide to move from A-D and skip B and C, and then you learn that you cannot do without B and C. Some of these kids just rebell for the hell of it and unfortunately for many of them, they reach to a point of no return and when they want to return, they already have damaging records that work to their disadvantage in life. Really, who goes to court to fight for a right to dress like this. If he had a clean record, he would probably not have hit the media, but this boy has a record already, fighting for foolishness, like he has nothing better to do. It is all about power and trying to fit in. I mean useless power and fitting in where and in what? These kids take this attitude when looking for jobs or whatever when they get older and who wants to employ or put up with such an attitude? Ok, he is 18, i’ll give it the benefit of the doubt, BUT if he is on drugs and is a violent offender, then you know it is not just about the clothes. And i really hope you are not defending it because you think he is being picked on. There are many who dress that way, but come on, he has a not so good record.

    And i hope you are not judging him on what really comes out of his mouth and you are also looking at what he is actually doing outside saying anything, because that is where the real problem is and usually is.

    And if i am to also judge him by what he actually said, it is almost worrying that he is so worried about the dress code and it is key and priority to his existence. Maybe i am readin so much into it.

  27. Hi mY sister…Lati,

    I do agree with what you said…..100%. You do have to ask yourself what kind of mind frame are they in. Well some wear the saggin pants because it’s a part of the hip hop culture. Some wear it because they are thugs,…i mean i can go on and on about it. But the only thing i’m trying to get across to everyone here…is that he has a right! You may not like it..i may not like it….but he still has a right. Yeah going to court just because of that is to rub your face in it. Because he knows he has the right….it’s his civil rights that we are talking about. I wish i could make these young men…wear more fitted clothes….but they won’t listen until they are ready. As for this guy we’re talking about…it is obvious he has issues. But still he has the right….that is all i’m saying. I’m not taking up for him…it is what it is… So what do you think should be done in this case.. Nice to hear from you again….will email you soon

  28. I think we have all established that he has a right to put on what he wants after all the only reasomn they tried to stop him was because of his re ocurring offenses, but what does this show? That is what you are missing. And this is the problem with the young generation, most of them think the world is against them whenthey try to stop them from doing this foolishness. And then they run back when it too late. You can draw from your experience and testify.

  29. i understand his occuring offense… But that has nothing to do with his wearing saggin pants… It’s a mind set… His wearing saggin pants has nothing to do with him being lost or ignorant…it’s a symptom of the true problem in his head. Everything comes from with in…. If your lost and hurt and you can’t see…then it will manifest itself. Trying to tell him he can wear his clothes the way he wants to…is not the answer. All this did was made him believe he is right about everything…now. It was a waste of time…to even tell the young man…what they did… Next time i think they should come better than that. The problem is not the clothes…it’s what’s i his head…. Plain and simple to me . When you try to infringe on peoples civil rights…i’m with them…wheather i agree with what they do or not. Because as i said before…it’s a slippery sloop…. if youdo this..then you can do that…and the list goes on….

  30. Moreno, I didn’t say that when a black man wears slightly sagiing pants that he is a criminal did I? You did. This is a knee jerk interpretation of my comment which never mentioned race you may have failed to notice.
    I think that the human rights aspect is a fair and valid comment . Everything else is just the usual contradictory confused black people justfiations that somehow we always have to consider (for fear of not being black enough) even though we all know it’s bollocks.
    i know all about the varied styles of street/fashion/club wear and can see the difference between a black man wearing slightly slung jeans (which has crossed over to pretty much everyone under 40 anyway) and a black man wearing two pairs of jeans with one not pulled past up his entire bottom. This is who we are talking about just to make this very clear.
    Anyway, you are right, people should be able to wear what they like but they should expect judgements: a woman wearig a micro mini skirt in 6 inch heels walking down a road in broad daylight for example should not be screaming for her right to privacy or spend her time asking people “what they are looking at?”. I know in the grand scheme of things we should all just accept and love each other, hold hands and sing “we are the world” but until that time a dufus wearing pants this low will be judged by me and many as an absolute oaf who is very likely to be a deviant of society black or not.

  31. I’ve seen kids with this attitude and where and how they have ended up. Esp when they get to that acceptable adult age. They cry 4 their rights but can’t control their rights. Lucky 4 them, they live in a society that picks them when they fall. Its a rebellious thing. Dropping out of school, bse its their right. Some of us grew up with the right 2 eat, study and be obedient 2 all family members. As suffocating as it was at the time, we thank God 4 it.

  32. lol! Reclaimin… As i do agree with a lot of what you said. My main point here is the fact…of who’s busineess is it anyway. If a woman wear he skirt up to her crack….it;s not my business.. Will i look hell yeah because i’m a man.lol! I guess my peeps…i’m see things differently… And i can only say it like this…i don’t like saggin pants…but it’s not my place to judge. I look at life like…people will do what they will do…and all the complaining and bitchin in the world will not make then do other than what they will do. I don’t get repulsed when i see someone with saggin pants….i just shake my head. Because when all is said and done..they don’t care. I’m talking about me…Moreno…i try my best not to judge others based on the physical. A judgement is always based on what you perceive. It may not be accurate….but most do it. I’m trying to move away from making judgements about people…. I think when some of these teens grow…they will change. Remember the saying…”when you know better you do better”. That’s my hope for all teens…but i have much love for Black teens… It is not a cop-out …to say what i feel based on what i know my reality to be true. I said…mine…just like you have yours. I am not justifying…anything! I’m simply stating what i see.. I don’t justify what Black people do…if it is wrong. Wrong in one persons eyes can sometimes be right in others eyes. To me it is all relative..depending one the person. And i don’t ever feel like i have to prove that i’m Black enough…i’m Black and proud…and don’t have to quantify my Blacknes to anyone. I brought up race just to make a point… because so many Black people don’t think for themselves…thier under the influence of the media…and others. Just tell me this..when have you had a thought about anything…that wasn’t infulenced….by what someone else…said…or what you’ve heard?? And before i close…i hope in your perfect world…you don’t do anything that will cause others to judge you harshly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And i wish we could all love each other and hold hands and sing we are the world.lol! You had me laughing when i read that. Peace Moreno….oh if i contradited myself in this note….oh well…wasn’t the first time and won’t be the last time… at work and tying like a madd man.lol!

  33. Hello Lati …You’re also right about what you said… But when it comes to these teens…you cannot change their attitudes. They will only change it when they are good and ready. You have rights so that people don’t violate you. Weather they understand them or not…they are…theirs. I do appreciate now all that my family did and said to me when was a teen. But back then….i could careless to a point. I was never the type to get in trouble…but i did do what i did. I’m now a much smarter and wiser man… And i know see things totally different… I feel all of what everyone has to say…but…i also see it from a different angle. Only because i lived that life when i was a teen… But i’m so grateful …that i made it out.. I had a strong family…and they put it on me.lol!

  34. The reason these kids can afford this foolishness is bse they are too cushioned, they can afford to do anything even kill or stab and still get lifted more than those who struggled 2 keep their noses clean. They know they have people like you to back them up, and this growing problem will not be going away soon from the looks of things.

  35. well since every one knows the answer to everyones problem… What do you suggest they do? And as for them having people like me to lift them up! I will say it like this….unless you’ve lived the life….all you have to say is really illrelevent! You have no clue what people go through growing up…. you don’t know what may have happened to make that person walk the way they walk. You don’t know if there was rape….physical abuse…. And people cope with things the best way they can… i know…like i said i lived it. And i hit streets running…..but there is hope and no one will ever make me believe ….there is none. And i will continue to life them up….why…because someone did it for me!!!!!!!!!!!!! And i made it…i’m successful and living the life i dreamed of living. Walk a day in someone elses shoes before you judge. And it doesn’t matter what you learn in school…as far as education….unless you lived it…it’s all speculation…to a point…because you never really will get it. I’m saying some teens not all.

  36. I know that some kids’ parents say one thing and then they have the peer pressure that sings the rights song. Trust me i listen to and watch kids alot. They have too many conflicting forces working against them, and many in such a state have had to fall massively before they really. Society only picks interest in their flaws and waits for them to fall. These rights they cry for are just rights on top, with rooted problems. Give them the rights but the problem remains and comes back in another form.

  37. And people have to understand that regardless of what problems you are going through however difficult and unimaginable they might be, there are some lines that once crossed eg taking a life, or harming someone in a way that changes their life or threatens their existence in anyway or makes another innocent person feel threatened or uncomfortable, i am talking about gangs and disorderly kids, the rest of the world will not be as sympathetic as you hope them to be. NO they will not. If you want to self destruct, fine, do it at your expense and not at the expense of another person because that changes everything and the way people see you and interact with you and recieve you will be different. This a sad fact of life and maybe not so sad for the victims. It is a reality. But do kids want to know this? NO. Not untill they have gone to jail and come out with sense Where, who? I mean we are all humans, right? People need to stop giving this false security to kids.

    Even if you have people who are sympathetic and empathise with you and are willing to work with you after whatever, once you have done things that society cannot forgive, one way or another you are screwed. Because there is that part of you that you will never and can never disclose for fear of rejection from folks, even when job hunting and all. It is the reality of life. Society is not that forgiving honestly. They will let you live but treat you like a plague and that is the truth.

    Do whatever you want to do, but keep that in mind. Even if as a child you went through alot of abuse, lets say sexual abuse or physical abuse, people will empathise with that part of you, BUT if you take out your anger on someone else in a similar manner, do you think people will still sympathise or empathise with you in the same way? It is an action taken out on an innocent person who never had any hand in your misfortunes. But hey, that is a sad fact of life that we all have to live.

  38. To me it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks…. if you haven’t lived the life….what you think and say…don’t matter. You can speculate…you can work with kids ….bu if you’ve never been in it….you’re basically getting it second hand… And it’s never been your reality! In closing…i do enjoy…this…because you get to hear what others think. And you also get to hear…how much..people will only see what that want to see. People have an opinion…about every subject in the world…but no love in thier hearts….no compassion….just empty. As i did say some… People think because thier life didn’t take the bad road as every one here seems to think,…They think they know it all and can judge people because they don’t act like them. Or if someone don’t see threw your eyes…then it is invalid. But to me what makes some opinions invalid…is basically they have not lived what they are trying to tell someone else.. Once you’ve been in something so devastating …that tears at the core of who you are… You become a different person…not because you want to be…but because you have to be. Not because you want to go out and commit all kinds of hanus crimes….you just become someone you don’t even reconize. So say and think what ya like…i’m a survivor…and has made it out of a bad place… I did what i did because at the time that was all i knew… But when you know better you do better.. And to Reclaimin and Lati….think what you will….don’t make any difference to me.. You haven’t lived the life…because if you did…i know for sure…you would be saying something totally different… Oh you’re perfect…never made a wrong turn….oh my bad………………………………………………….. Until the next post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  39. Your life experiences are your reality and the bottom line is you have to deal with your reality of life. I can read through all your posts and what you are asking for is one simple thing, to be understood. That is all people want. I don’t have to live your experience and walk in your shoes to know this. It screams out in your posts, and your passion. BUT, we have too many walls built up around us that we will not and cannot let anyone break through, we all got them because they are our defense mechanisms that protect us from hurt. I get that.

    Here is the thing, you have been through whatever you have been through, you did whatever you had to do, you came through it, at the end of the day you have to live it yourself, whatever you face as a result of your past is yours to deal with regardless of what anyone says. But you sometimes forget that there are people who can be on the recieving end of anyone’s bad times, much as i would like to overlook that part and celebrate their survival , i can’t. Because you have no idea what their life could have turned into as a result of anyone’s actions.

    YOU WANT TO BE UNDERSTOOD BUT DO YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND THE OTHER SIDE OF IT?

    Do you want to listen to the victims tell their side of the story? Maybe then we can bring out the compassion scale. You cannot have your cake and eat it. You have to look at the other side of the coin. We could go on and on and on about this. Continue doing what you do, lift up whoever you want to lift up no one is stopping you, but you will find that some take the prevention approach than the cure approach. Only you know what you are going through. I haven’t lived the life, i thank God i haven’t lived the life, but then i also thank God that i don’t have to have an extra weight to carry that burdens me and limits me to the extent that i feel i am a prisoner in my own life, as a result of my past actions.

    People don’t want to hear it because they think you are laughing at their misfortunes or whatever or because you had a better upbringing and whatever else they want to hear, but for me, i will say it nevertheless. If a kid decides to pick up a knife or gun or whatever and do a crime that destroys another’s life, they have to know what lays ahead of them. That people will not be as empathetic as they want them to be. It is a fact of life they have to face and deal with the rest of their lives. It is not pleasant to hear or say or live.

    If you think that i say all this out of hate, then it is what you want to hear and will hear. Nothing much i can do about that, can i?

  40. All i can say is that a part of my work involves listening to people, from all walks of life. When you have someone come in to talk to you for an hour just to say how they feel and look forward to the next session of their therapy, just because no one bothers to understand their side of their story and then have to pay for it, it is a sad day. It is a job for me, but hey, i cannot overlook the pain they go through that no one wants to hear about. That is all people want, to be understood. If you have someone terrified to nearly come out of their house and can only afford to go out with the help of family members, just because of a particular incident that happened and caused them to withdraw, but no one wants to know about then it is sad. When people start getting picky about children who offend, sometimes it is not out of nowhere, it is out of their own fear that causes them to feel this way. But no one wants to know this. People think that some folks act irrationally and are picking on these kids. I cannot over rule the incidents that have happened and have been irrational, but all it takes is just one bad incident for someone to develope this irrational fear. Why can’t people understand this side of the story? Some are just as afraid as anyone else or these kids. But you know what, it is up to folks to do and think what they want, because at the end of it all, everyone is trying to live a safe life, and they are coping as much and as best as they can. It is up to you to interprete it whichever way you can and want. But you have to keep in mind that there are freightened people out there, and sometimes their fear is not as irrational as we all want to think and believe. You just have to siit with them for an hour, they pour their heart out to you and then maybe everyone can come to see everyone’s side of the story. But hey, i can only speak from that part of my experience. We all see it as just a dress code, but to some people, it is more than a dress code. We all have rights, but when some kids abuse their rights at the expense of another person, people get affected just the way you get affected by life experiences. It is never a trivial thing to some, but you can only get to know this when they tell you this. Whether you choose to understand this, it is up to you.

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